14 hours of reflection on my drive back from Colorado.
I just returned from a long drive out to Denver, Colorado. It’s about 14 hours. Coming from Illinois it is very serene, beautiful, and eloquently elongated ride through the countryside of Iowa, Nebraska, & Colorado. There is something I love about hoping in a car and going for a ride across country. Driving just brings a serenity and state of mind that allows for clean thinking and being along the routes of the beautiful country we live upon. I’ve driven up the coast from Arizona to California, driven across from Arizona, thru New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, to Illinois. I’ve driven down through Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and Florida. Across the country again through Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York State, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, and New York City. I’ve gone through Virginia, North Carolina, & South Carolina.
With all of these trips there is always one connecting thread, ‘wherever we go and whatever we do, there we are.’ We see what we want to see in every moment. We see with the eyes that come from the perceptions of our inner truth. It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do I always see in others a reflection of what is truly within myself. Everyone is a reflection of a facet of a diamond with which we all contain. Truly we are all facets of the same diamond reflecting upon one another an aspect of ourselves.
This one recent trip out to Colorado was a significant turning point in our family. My middle son made his final transition over to college. It has taken him several extra years as a high school graduate of 2021. Well worth the wait, he entered upon a new chapter in his life. For this, as a parent it comes with mixed emotions. Relieved, he has finally come into his own grounded stated of awareness that took the time to reflect what was truly important to him and what he wanted to do with these next years of his life. Sorrowful, I don’t get to see him everyday and look into his love filled eyes of purity that shine upon you when he connects. Delighted, he is becoming a self empowered man and gaining skills and confidence daily. Joyful, this new beginning is happening for us all.
After the long awaited anticipation of this time was finally here and after we spent the past week unloading his new life it finally came upon me the time to reflect on my solo 14 hour drive back from Colorado. I savored this time with myself. Allowing to work through every emotional wave of instability, doubt, and fear that would surface as I contemplated all the memories of our past 20 years together. I felt hollows and depths within my heart that I was never aware of until this long drive. Not trying to figure it out and allowing the memories, the regrets, the excitements, the wins and the losses of his life in our family come to surface. I have my version and he of course, he has his. As I completely let go and allow for the new relationship that will be forming between our family to unfold I look back at all the events in our life containing Aiden with complete honor. I am honored to be his mother and friend. Honored that he allowed me to enter into one facet of his life for such a short time. I hold new hopes of a new life that will be filled with more diamond moments of Aiden and all the love that he offered in this stage of his life. I look forward to more and how our family dynamic continues to evolve and transition over to new possibilities for us all. A beautiful dance we get to do where we think we know the next steps and then have to just go with the flow of the music.
From this day and every day, I will allow for new versions of all of us to come forward. Once someone shifts to a new level in our life everyone gets to try out other versions of themselves. For this, I am thankful. Now we get to see what else is just around the corner.
Sometimes change can be difficult and sometimes change comes with great relief and sometimes change is exactly what we needed but didn’t know we needed it until we find ourselves in the change itself. The thing is, we wake up new everyday. We are never the same as we were yesterday, nor shall we ever be. The only thing that stays the same is the idea that there is always change. And that is good.
In Kundalini yoga, there is a mantra, “Sa Ta Na Ma”. It’s about change. How we go through the seasons of life through all the seasons of change and living fully in every way possible. It is a mantra of reflection, allowing, and cycles. When it is repeated for 11 minutes it begins to allow ourselves to sink deeply into change with the new heart felt understanding that with love and living change will always be there and embracing this constant is the way though many perceived obstacles in our lives. It has been said, to be the change you would like to see in another. For me, I like to see people evolve and become more versions of themselves through simple change by breathing into life and allowing what speaks in our heart to live through our day to day actions. I believe in love and how the love of life always changes us for good. When we allow we evolve and shift into something brighter as we stay present, listen, and let go.
And much like the new season of fall that is upon us, as we witness the leaves drift to the ground, we get to welcome more changes and more seasons taking us further along on our journey we get to call “life”. My highest hope is that you welcome change, allow it to unfold, and that it comes effortlessly into existence through drifting peace that is all around us.
And if it ever seems to be a struggle, I pray you take the time to be still and know “it’s only change” the forever constant we will always have within our hearts. I pray you will reach into the stillness of your heart and allow for your dance to flow through you taking you to the next steps of your life.
Here are some offerings in the upcoming weeks:
