5 weeks as full time students, and a life time of memories…

For the past 5 weeks I have been a student of Kripalu yoga with my daughter.  Here is what I learned…

The last 5 weeks have brought me experiences of joy and wonder.  I have learned to be guided by spirit like never before, to stop worrying about the future and to spend the rest of my life in the present. 

It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?  I finally realized nothing really matters except for the experiences of life itself.  Nothing really matters except for what you would like to experience in each moment of life. 

Really…if we are tuned in and turned onto spirit and living the truth of who we are then what is happening out there in the world may not seem like such a monstrous thing we must overcome.  We are reflections of what we believe ourselves to be.   In this world, we can see every facet of the diamond and look through every lens that is possible through each other.  We can see the good in almost everything.  It’s up to us to decide how we’d like to view every situation.  I can decide in a moment what any experience means to me, and I can decide to live any way I desire.  I can be full of prosperity and the riches of knowledge, and I can be limitless in all my experiences. No matter what. 

Easy to say and sometimes difficult to do.  We can become filled with so much doubt that we can limit ourselves with the belief that we can’t do something even before we try.  This happens on so many levels.  All I can say, is that in the past 5 weeks I have had the experience of a lifetime. 

Maybe it was because I was simply ready to receive and allow spirit to work through me on all levels. Maybe it was because I was ready to make my own decisions in life about what really mattered to me.  Maybe I have finally realized that we all have this choice, and we never need to live by anyone else’s standards. Maybe I have finally accepted the truth of who I am. 

That’s a beautiful thing.   

In acceptance of the self is freedom. 

There is no malice or perceived judgement behind it.  It’s merely a simple knowing that you are perfect exactly as you are and there is nothing else to understand except the perfection that is already within you. 

We can spend a lifetime searching for answers.  Our world points us ‘to the answer’ everywhere we turn.   Eat this, take that, do this, become that, and you will finally be ‘ok’.  That’s what they tell us on a conscious and subconscious level.  And maybe, we just need to pause to see what was already there.  Maybe, we never needed to do anything, be anything, or have anything.  Maybe we just needed to become the love that was always waiting for us to see, feel, and know… already within our own hearts.  Maybe… just maybe this is it.   

The past 5 weeks I have spent an enormous amount of time with a new tribe of Kripalu yoga healers… here is what I learned from each of them… by them simply being who they are to me… a facet of my diamond.

I learned the power of determination and how to move confusing and clouded energy into channeled focused energy by watching others move into their own self-mastery.

I learned of the strength and wisdom that comes from someone being a balanced being of masculine and feminine energy able to move through any societal expectations and transform themselves into a healthier version of who they truly are.

I learned of the unbounding integrity and safety that can come from someone who feels free to share their love and joy for life by simply being themselves and wanting others to feel the love and joy that is already within them. 

I learned of the joy that can be spread amongst people by simply laughing and allowing themselves to sing and fill their lives with amusement.

I learned of how strong so many people are on so many different levels and how through support and belief in others we can rise above our own thought filled limitations ourselves.

I learned of the wisdom and magic that can come from someone so young and so profoundly full of knowledge that is lightyears ahead of us all. 

I learned the importance of language and attention to detail and how still, the only thing that matters is the heart connection from another individual by simply being themselves. 

I learned of the flow and creativity that can be inspired by one person to inspire a whole group to be in the flow and creativity of life by simply being who they are. 

I learned so much more… and overall… I learned to just be me.  To be graceful and messy all at once and to allow this to happen.  To process what is within me without having to figure it out.  To allow the mess and the wonder to just happen all on my own. To just enjoy life by being in-joy.

Ultimately, I learned to lay my final sword down… the sword of self-judgment… the most deadly sword of all. 

And if I did nothing else in this life… I would finally know… I am ok… just the way I am. 

Thank you, God.

You are as God, being born again…

I think of you as a God.

You are God.

You are Creator.

As such, as you learn to bring more light into your body and become the vessel of light you are meant to be, you are able to clear and ascend higher into your consciousness.

As such, nothing is left behind and you realize that this is only about becoming more of yourself. 

More wholeness.

More Oneness. 

Which means, you can share this with others.  The overwhelming abundance that comes into you, through your connection with Source consciousness creates a cascading waterfall of endless resources capable of reaching as far as your heart’s desire.  It is capable of becoming one with everything. 

When you are Source, you are One.  In that Oneness you become the light.

In the light, which is endless, everything shifts. 

Darkness does not remain.

It can not, it’s just not possible.  It never is. Never was possible. 

Light…just is.  As you shine it opens doors for the answers to keep shining in return.  It keeps merging with you, and you keep becoming One with it all.

Yes, there is choice.  You have a choice.  A choice to stay where you are and continue shining right where you are.  Or a choice to allow yourself to grow, to expand, and to allow the light to shine into the smallest places of your heart.  The smallest spaces creeping into the unseen realms that have remained hidden and darkened with fear.  The smallest spaces that seem incomprehensible, unreachable, and unable to be unearthed.  These are the spaces the light will go.  These are the spaces that we have not even encountered yet.  These are the things we are afraid of.  These are our fears that keep us up at night, feeling alone in the dark, and even miserable.

To allow the light in… allows for the light to reach these spaces.  It allows for consciousness to come pouring in as a waterfall.  The light comes pouring in, shedding the darkness, shedding the fears.  Allowing for expansion to spaces and places of our life we thought not possible or that maybe we did not even think of at all. 

There is always hope.  Hope allows the light in.  It is the first step.  The first crack in the dawn of the new day.  It is the cloud that covers the light that eventually drifts to the side exposing what is truly underneath.

Hope allows the light in.  It is the beginning.  The beginning to the end.  The end of the fear.  The end of the darkness.  The end of despair.  The beginning of a new again.  The rebirth.

Hope is the crack that creates.  A crack so small that it can not even be seen with the naked eye and yet only felt with the heart.  A longing. An echo. An echo of the eternal abys calling for recognition and calling to return to its abandonment that was hidden from long, long ago.

When we see it, the tiniest light, the light through the cracks of our heart, we can not deny the emergence.  The unraveling begins.

The twist and turns that break us free, break us open, turn our lives upside down.  Leave us breathless, placeless, and beyond. 

It breaks us open…cracking through the layers of our shell…calling to us…asking us to become something more.  Something so desirable to the senses.  Something fragrant. Something only seen in the early morning mist or the setting of the shady dusk upon our hearts.  Sometimes, we can barley make it out and yet we know it remains.  The longing for something else, something new, something fresh.  Something.

Something that just wants to grow, wants to shake, shimmer, and stir.  Eventually, as we attend to the cracks, as we allow the light to pour threw it breaks us into more of ourselves.  It is revealed. It shines so bright that it can be contained no more… and the emergence happens totally on its own.  It becomes more, we become more, and the contagiousness expands. 

We become reverent, peaceful, and whole. 

We know not the answers and only the calling of our hearts that is uniquely our own.  We become bright again.  Talking ceases, words have no description, silence takes over, and reverence remains. 

Light remains.

This is death.  This is oneness.  This is merging. 

It is here, right here that we die again.  We become one again.  And we merge again. 

Time after time.  It happens. 

The light finally becomes you and all the rest no longer matters.  It is here that you become.  You no longer are you but merely a breath. 

You are a pause between the words.  You are the experience.

We spend our whole lives searching for this.  We search for the death, the merging, the reemerging, the experience.  And then, we do it all over again and again and again.  We are as the breath… always there, cycling through, trying to let go, trying to hold on, trying to expand, trying to contract, trying to come to balance. We are cyclical like that. 

We search to find ourselves in all that we see, think, and do out there. 

We search for ourselves in our parents, our siblings, our families, our partners, our friends.  We search to find ourselves in our jobs, our careers, our societies, our communities, our institutions. 

We search for ourselves in our food, our drinks, our plants, our herbs, our medicines.

We search for ourselves in our movements, our activities, our social obligations.

In our search to become more and to be more we never find who we truly are…

What is happening?

What are we searching for? 

The light of who we are, the great I AM. 

And when we find it, when we taste it, and when we realize its there, we spend our lives trying to obtain it… never realizing it never left… it was always there.  No where to go… no where to be… nothing to do.  It was here all along.  In our hearts. 

And yet, the quest takes over.  It becomes us, it embodies us.  We become the endless search for something more.  The quest for knowledge.  The quest for fortune.  The quest for elixirs.  The quest for more.  The quest temps us, becomes us, takes us over.  It is endless… until one day… it comes… the realization…

As we enter into the altar of our lives, we realize it was always here within us.  It never left.  It was always waiting for us to return again.  And then we know…we have arrived. 

It is a savory experience that can not be held for very long. 

There is no grasping.

There is no control.

It definitely can not be bought or sold. 

We can only learn to merge with it, to allow it to carry us to new experiences… and then we must let go again. 

A constant dance of leading and being lead.  Feeling into the situation with no expectation and then letting go again. 

And yet… we still have a choice. 

There is always a choice… it’s always there. 

We can choose to hold on…eventually learning this never works.  It becomes an addiction…wanting more and then regretting we even tried to do it again. 

We continue to seek outside ourselves always returning to the eternal wave within our own hearts. 

We slow, we deepen, we become more.

We learn, time and time again… we never left our light… it was there all along. 

We look within the mirror of our lives, and we return to the truth of who and what we are. 

The light.

The great I AM.

The Atman.

The Brahman. 

The sacred texts.

The scriptures. 

The sounds.

The silence. 

We are.

Take hold of the light

…we can’t.

Grasp the water in our hands

…we can’t.

Hold our breath eternally

…we can’t. 

See the light…we can.

Feel the water…we can.

Embrace the breath… and it is there.

We can’t take it, we can only experience it… in so many ways. 

We experience it through the people, the places, the things around us.  We share it with others, we live it.  Through this… we allow for more, we experience more, we share more, we become more, and we return to the state of consciousness that knows we are more. 

See the beauty in the waterfall, the sun, the moon, the stars… and know this is you. 

And don’t hold on… this is the balance.  As we hold on… we surely will slip, we fall, we crash, and we burn once more. 

Instead, we let go in true appreciation for the remembrance of the truth of who we are.

Then we can return to the presence of our hearts.  A true undying reverence for everything we are and are not.  Because we know, every day we are born again.

(Thank you for reading… even though I am away… remote sessions are always available. Just reach out. ~Jennifer)

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