The Power of the Heart Center

A much-needed heart centered break:
As the days become shorter and the sun folds into slumber earlier and earlier, I am finding that time in the darkness as an invaluable tool that has reflected back to me all the darkness within that is craving some heart centered nurturing.  Our darkness is necessary to know our light.  And the shift in time and in days to being shorter naturally steps into this.  It feels ‘just right’ to naturally allow ourselves to use one of the most masterful elements we have within ourselves to create a high vibratory field around us and through us by tuning into and tapping into our sensations through thoughts, sensations, and feelings.  Here is just a snippet of some techniques I use in many of my programs and sessions to help elevate and enhance our vibration.  It is a small portion of a program that I use in my workshops and classes.  Following this is a brief overview of what is coming in January. 
All Love

Week 2 Day 3
The Heart Center – As I am centered in the heart, I come from a place of power greater than anything encountered before.   
The heart is one of the most amazing powerhouses of our body.  The heart is the first to develop in a newborn and it is the last organ to cease functioning upon death.  Our heart vibrates so high and is so powerful that it can affect shifts on multidimensional levels.  Let’s attempt an experiment right now.  Are you ready?  Try this meditation…
Close your eyes.  Close your eyes and take a nice elongated deep breath in and out.  Slowly take several nice deep breaths.  Now, as you settle into yourself begin to think of a place and time that you remember that was one of the happiest moments in your life.  There you go…take some time to do this.  Don’t rush…it will come.  Think of all the things that happened that day that made it such a pleasant experience.  Think of what you were doing, who you were with, and what you were wearing.  Now bring in what you were thinking and what you were saying to yourself as all these happy events were happening around you.  Were you smelling anything, tasting anything, was it cool and breezy outside, was it warm and sunny or maybe it was cold and snowy.  Take nice deep breaths into all of this.  Remember all the sensations that were associated with this beautiful moment.  Now bring up all the feelings that you had that fit perfectly with this scenario.  Were you excited and happy, calm and peaceful, full of appreciation and gratitude, or all of these?  Good… now bring up another memory from your heart.  Add to this perfect memory another great memory.  Bring up all the visuals, feelings, sensations, and colors associated with these memories too.  Keep this going.  Bring up one wonderful memory after another.  Fill your field of energy with all this beauty and wonder.  Add one memory to the next memory and just keep going.  Build one on top of another.  Breathe it all into your field and remember everything that you love and cherish.  Feel the joy of all these moments as they keep building and becoming larger and larger and more expansive encompassing your entire field of energy.  Until there is no room for anything else except for all these wonderful moments.   Be sure you are allowing your eyes to remain closed and be sure that you are breathing into and sensing and truly connecting to each memory.  Stay here for as long as you like and merely sense and embrace all the wonderful feelings of all these wonderful events in your life. 
Now, take a moment to sense what you are feeling right now in this moment.  What are you feeling physically?  Are their butterflies in your stomach, heightened energy in your neck and shoulders, ringing in your ears, expansiveness in your head and forehead?  Are you able to feel any new sensations?  Remain here in this state and observe all the new sensations.  Take mental notes of these sensations and affirm that you are feeling expanded and aware.  The more time you allow yourself to acknowledge how you are feeling and sensing in this moment right now the more you will take these same sensations with you throughout your expanded day.  Take plenty of time to do this and remain here as long as possible.  Continue taking long inhales and exhales, several cleansing breaths, and remain in this heightened state of awareness.  Rest.  Be.  Allow.  There… good.  Now…in your own time…however long is good and right for you…begin to feel the seat beneath your bottom; the arm rests on your chair; and your back pressing against the cushion behind you.  Take a couple more slow and deeper breaths in and out.  When you are ready, slowly bring yourself back to your current reality by gently bringing your hands up to your eyes, covering them as you effortlessly open your eyes behind closed hands allowing some of the light of the room to come through your hands.  Adjust to this dim light and when the time is right for you lower your hands to your lap and allow the light of the room fully into your vision with your gaze to the floor.  Take a nice deep breath acknowledging your return and remain here until you feel that you can continue to bring this heightened state of awareness fully into your day. 
Next, take a moment to ask yourself how you feel?  What am I experiencing right now?  Do I feel open, expansive, and heightened in my awareness? Are my sensations heightened?  Am I keenly aware of sounds or does my vision seem more expansive in a way that colors are brighter and shapes are more defined?   Do I smell or even taste anything new and does my skin sense a breeze or a coolness around me that I had not sensed earlier?  Hopefully, through raising your vibration by tuning into the heart energy with these ‘heart full’ emotional visuals you will begin to understand the power that comes from the heart when we allow it to grow and expand in a way that brings joy and satisfaction to the moments of our lives. 
The important message of the heart is, it is never searching to gain riches, bear rewards, or be acknowledged for all the good deeds.  Instead, the heart is simply seeking to improve upon itself for the mere internal knowing that when we come from the heart in every aspect of our life, we are living a life rooted in honesty, thought-full-ness, compassion, and devotion.  Heart-full-ness is truly living in a way that is not seeking approval because we need approval.  We are living this way because we want to be the absolute best at what we are doing.  We are living passionate and compassionate lives from the heart center.  The heart will never be self-deserving.  Rather the heart wants to make a difference and seeks satisfaction purely from the doing of what it loves to do.  Merely doing a job right is far more superior to the heart than any recognition.   Each opportunity to repeat the process again unfolds into a greater expansive state of the heart.  This is the way of the heart and its truth is conscious intuitive living. 
The heart, as you have gathered, is a powerful energy center.  It is the pivot point of all the energy in our body.  It is the point that energy cycles around and always comes back to.  This was the very meaning of the ever-expansive Figure 8 meditation that we have experienced in previous weeks.  Every energy in our body that we are feeling or connected to…whether it is something troublesome or something joyful and fun is directly connected to the heart.   Everything revolves around this energy center.  The energy of the heart is where everything happens, and everything takes place.  The heart is the first organ to form and it is what gives us our energy and source of power throughout our day.  If we only had to tune into one energy source our entire day and one place for guidance it would be our heart.  It is the source of everything. 
We are all connected through the heart.  Everything is.  Relationships, career, finances, business partnerships, family, loved ones, and even those that we may call distant acquaintances.  We are all connected. 
Today’s Mantra:
I am centered within my heart, I am powerfully empowered. 
I am centered within my heart, I am powerfully empowered. 
I am centered within my heart, I am powerfully empowered. 
Classes Happening Now:

  • Pendulum Power is this week and next week (on-line spots are open & Link Here)
  • Sandwich Connection is happening now (group full)
  • Chakras & Archetypes & Intuition is happening now (group full)

Free Fridays are every Friday. Sign up to join a like hearted group healing every week through movement. Next week we are off because it is December 25th

January Begins a New Year and 4 New CLASSES!  (All Classes Links Are Provided)

  1. Advanced Healing Techniques with Reiki IIJanuary 22 & 23 (Link Here)
  2. Healing Rays of Light Energy – February 6th(Link Here)
  3. Healing with the Out of Body Chakras and the Auric Layers – January 21st, 28th, & February 4th (Link Here)
  4. Tuning Forks and Toning the Body though Voice – January 30th (Link Here)

Our Sacral Sacred Essence

The Sacrum – The Seat of the Butterfly – The Seat of our Soul

Your wings of the butterfly are seated in the soul depths of your sacrum, coccyx, and the crest of the iliac. This is the seat of your soul. Here is wisdom from all your lives and lifetimes that come together in the perfect balance of masculine and feminine energies.  This is the strongest and most sacred point of your entire body.  It is the root of all your existence.  This is your connection with your oneness with all that is, with your creator. It is where you become who you are meant to be and learn all that you are meant to learn within this life.   

As this area reawakens in your body, it opens to a doorway of unlimited possibilities. When you feel safe to be here when you feel that you have contributed to your life’s calling, your soul’s purpose, this is where you will feel complete. This is where the truth of who you are is meant to shine.

There is so much information gathered in this area with so much potential healing that can happen.  Healing in this area requires great awareness.  This is where we feel safe, we believe root ideas about ourselves, and we have faith in something bigger.  It is here that we feel cared for, loved, connected, safe, supported, and fundamentally allowed to thrive in our lives.   This is our Mother Earth Connection containing all the necessary wisdom to live our life’s passions and desires. It is here where we gain insights through our inner voice recognizing it is connected to divinity.

Especially those of us to which were born into a masculine body have this insatiable urge to be one with their own mother nature. Fostering their feminine side through actions of self-care, nurturing, love, support, and connections will only enhance their ability to be successful within the world.   Our connection to our mother nature is calling us back to the true purpose of our lives.  In addition, there is a small point at the end of the sacrum, this is the coccyx. It is here that light resonates out and streams further down through and into the core of Mother Earth.  It is a vibration of consciousness unlike anything we have experienced as humans.  It is pure light helping us to navigate back to the womb of her safety and eternal wisdom that is calling us back home.  This is a thin yet strong high vibratory light stream resonating out of and into the coccyx.  It is a kite string of energy connecting our entire physical structure to the Earth in acknowledgement of the interdependent relationship we have with the physical and emotional perceptions of our entire being in exchange for safety, nurturing, and supported eternal love inside the core of our existence and the core of the great mother that we stand, move, and sleep upon.  She is our eternal womb right here and right now on this Earth plane calling us back home to our knowing that everything we ask for manifests through conscious and subconscious means.  This small and yet powerful tip is bonded with the Mother. This is our anchor and are fluidity which balances, shifts, sways, and moves in all directions as if we were a mother ship effortlessly moving on the water and yet feeling connected and safe all at the same time.  It is here that we embrace our entire being which is tuned into our intuitive nature calling us to stay or motivating us to move forward on our way.   It is a powerful source of energy which stabilizes and connects our entire lightbody and assisting our physical body to make necessary changes for evolution. Connecting with this area unites us with our soul’s purpose.

Next is the joint of the sacrum and the iliac together. This structure is a body of strength inside of our body. It’s natural fortitude grounded in creativity gives us a balanced connection to our intuitive knowing of how and when to approach and press situations and how and when to release any desired outcomes.  It is the float and the flight of a butterfly’s wings which has such tenacity to affect the corners of the Earth.  When this area is unrestricted it becomes a free-flowing distribution of energy within the body, effortlessly helping us fly in all areas of our lives and lifetimes.  True and effective power in this area is reflected as the human that has become a perfectly centered being of masculine and feminine energies.  One area does not fall in the shadows of another.  Light energy passes through this area in the form of nerves, tissues, and blood vessels.  Nourishing, protecting, and creating pure light through the rest of the system.  It safely holds the seat of our soul, our purpose for being, and our free expression of our intuitive nature.  Our imaginations thrive in these areas and they allow us to safely feel, prosper, and dream our reality into existence.  We can only fly when we feel with fluidity and remember the truth of our existence created and rooted within the mother Earth.   This is our true power within creation. 

This area is critical to the manifestations of our dreams. 

It is here that we achieve everything that we can imagine and more. 

Just as a butterfly moves gracefully with the flapping of its wings, gliding on the winds of the universe, so too can we as human beings assume this same state of being. Our Sacrum reminds us of this ability we all contain.

Whatever is wanting, needing, asking to be released within this structure does and will come up for us in many forms.  We may contain feelings of underappreciation, lack, financial strain, regrets, disconnection, or survival issues.  We must continue to remember these are beliefs & ideas about life that have come from our experiences growing up or from our ancestors and lineage.  We can help ourselves and our lineage through resolving and releasing these ideas within and around the restrictions we feel.  As we feel into this, as we do this, we create our new reality, and everything begins to open up again to our natural ability to fly with fluidity within our renewed wings. 

As we reconnect, resolve, and release this area we return to a state of balance tuning us once again to our natural state of being which is exceptionally creative, expansive, free, abundant, and connected. 

The sacrum, coccyx, and iliac all are in synchronistic flight together to bring balance, intuition, and knowing back into our lives.  Health in these areas allows us to be in tune with our environments and helps us to make fruitful contributions to the lives and life of the Mother Earth.  We must heal our selves to return to the Earth that was meant to thrive within our lifetimes.  She is waiting for us to embrace our true power through the wings of the butterfly and the safety of the seat of our soul; Our Sacral Sacred Essence.

Last Chance for Pendulum Power!  A new date has been added:  
December 14th & 
December 21st 

Email me if you would like to join this class!  There is more room!  
Access explanation HERE  

REIKI SHARE – December 22nd Tuesday evening 6-8pm – if you are a student who would like to practice and you are a client wanting to receive!  I will be holding the share at my home.  You must contact me so that I have enough room.  Either to receive or share or both!  I will be free to work with you and intuitively teach and share knowledge.  

Reiki II – Come learn the symbols and how to send healing in all space, time, dimension.  
The OUT OF BODY Chakras and Auric Layers – a 2-3 part class to teach you how to connect with, understand, and work with these very powerful energetic and intuitively expansive areas
The Healing Rays of Light – How can we use light and the Rays of Energy to help us heal!!!!!  

Transcending Limitation

Lesson 1 – Transcending Limitation

It was a pleasant summers day.  The warmth of the sun felt like a soothing blanket as it covered my skin.  The wind at my back was also extremely comforting as I pedaled ahead of my son and husband on the windy biking trail that lay ahead.  This day was unusually special for us.  Ethan, my son, had just graduated high school and was in transition to college.  We had taken a long-awaited bike ride to simply enjoy the afternoon.  But that’s not all.  Ethan was born with a condition known as Spina Bifida.  It is a neurological disorder that forms in utero and causes deficits with every system in your body.  When Ethan was born it was highly unlikely that he would ever be able to function typically let alone take part in a bike outing on a warm summer day.  Most of his life has been spent overcoming one obstacle after another and defying all the odds.  Countless hours had been spent in therapy, doctor appointments, and researching and implementing alternative therapies in order to live the most optimal life that he could.  We failed thousands of times and we rose again to try something else that would help Ethan a thousand more times.  For every step we took forward on his path of overcoming spina bifida there were several steps that we had to take backwards.  But in the end the commitment we gave to finding answers paid off.  The idea of miraculous healing is unknown to the medical community.  Even in the midst of a miracle unfolding before them, through Ethan, he was still regarded as just a ‘healthy kid’ who was one of the lucky ones.  But the luck that Ethan had as a child was nothing short of a miracle that took honest deep opening to awareness and the idea  that all possibilities exist in this now moment.  The only way we were able to transform Ethan’s life and step into the miraculous nature of all possibilities was by learning this first hand for ourselves through years of experience working through 100’s of ingrained beliefs and thought patterns that filled our life from the beginning.  What am I referring to?  The idea, of course, that everyone has the ability to self-heal and miraculously rise above anything happening in their life.  We all have this ability…it only takes commitment to bring it into our lives and a steadfast consistent dedication to uncovering all false beliefs that create the reality that it is not possible.  So, the idea that we were biking as a family was miraculous for us on one hand but also very real in that we had a very large part to play in making this happen, consciously.  Often times, stating that there was a ‘miraculous’ occurrence brings in a notion of unconsciousness. Many people mistake ‘miracles’ as supernatural or that they are controlled by an outside force that claims to decide who gets a miracle and who doesn’t.  I always found this extremely difficult to understand.  Why would there be something bigger than us always in control over our reality?  I believed this was not so.  I believe we have much control if we choose to do the work.  I believe our role is to uncover all the misbeliefs and judgements covering up the miracle from happening and that true power resides within each individual to shift into a new reality where the miracle has already occurred.  We have a choice to open up to our own internal awareness and as we make this commitment we face our limitations with zeal, understanding that as we do we are able to open to all possibilities which includes transcending all limitations.  It truly is that simple.  And it requires a steadfast commitment to do the work.  Time and time again I see the same events happen repeatedly over the years.  We, as a collective ‘we’ and as an individual tend to make this process very difficult.  We have all sorts of barriers in our way and we continue to blame what’s happening in our world around us instead of looking within.  I did this for a very long time.  And it wasn’t until I paved my own path of transcendence that I could finally see how I had to do it another way or this would not benefit anyone and certainly not Ethan.  I had to create my own reality from within and it never was about changing anyone else around me except myself.  This is a difficult concept to learn.  One with which I struggled with for a very long time.  I’m rather bull headed and do not like to see that things are my fault.  I was causing my own pain and discomfort for many years.  But how could I see that when I was trying to fix a world out there.  No fault but my own, this is how our society is built.  We are taught this throughout our lives.  It’s everywhere we turn.  How could one not retreat to a state of fixing the world before healing ourselves.  It’s an easy ditch to fall into and one which I will never return to again. 

So, on this illuminous summer day, as I was biking with my oldest son and my husband, Andy, I was particularly in tune to the significance of what we were doing.  This was more than just another family bike ride.  This was a significant event that symbolized Ethan’s full embodiment as an empowered young adult that grew up with insurmountable obstacles to overcome.  He had arrived at a pivotal moment in his life on this day. He had finally embraced his full mastery and deep understanding that he was capable of anything.  His new life was just beginning and the dozens of chapters that had taken him to this point in his life were finally all closing.  Every experience had lead him to this one final emergence happening as we pedaled along the trail.

Only a few years ago when Ethan had entered the 5th grade we had inquired about an adapted recumbent pedal bike that could be used to further develop his extremely weak lower body.  In many kids with spina bifida, there is close to no movement in the lower bodies.  All neurological function is lost from the waist down which includes many states of function that typical people are unaware of and that which we often take for granted.  This recumbent pedal bike would be used to challenge Ethan’s lower body functions and one which I believed would help him to gain further function in not only the muscular/nervous structures but the nervous system responses he needed in order to alleviate bodily functions that often are a cause for constant illness and infection for these kids.  I was told to never expect these things to heal but I believed they were wrong.  I believe biking was one of the ways we could help. This recumbent bike was particularly challenging for Ethan from the beginning.   Rightly so, if you were born with a condition in which everyone expected you to have a difficult time with any lower body functions then this belief alone would make it a challenge.  It was.  So, when we began this journey we were wrapped up in the same beliefs and thus our world was extremely challenging. 

When Ethan was younger, he would often struggle with the pedaling motion which would require an enormous amount of effort and encouragement to continue.  Frustration always resulted and his desire to ‘give up’ always followed.  Even though we are repeatedly told that his disability is permanent, to this day, it does not occur to me, nor Ethan, that it is permanent.  It was a lot different back when Ethan was younger.  The difficulties were real to us and the unsurmountable challenges we had to face felt like an endless mountainside that we were climbing.  Fast forward to today, Ethan and I are able to see how we did a very good job in creating this reality and most of the time when Ethan is faced with a limiting belief he now turns to me and chuckles over the process, knowing that it is just another limiting beliefs that we are meant to diffuse.  And he does.  We always expect that there is something more that can be done and as we expect the positives to always reveal themselves, they always do.  Every day is different and every day we wake up to a new reality.  The more we base our realties in possibilities, the more fun we have.  We did not know this before and now we do.   For some reason, many of us catastrophize daily, I did that, and as we expect devastation we prepare for the worst.  Then we are not surprised when it shows up and congratulate ourselves for being prepared for the inevitable.  It is a sour place to be.  Not a life I will ever return to.   I believe that expecting and knowing that all possibilities exist and choosing which reality we would like to exist in, is a much more enjoyable way to exist.  One which I will always want to be living within.

Seemingly, at the time we acquired this bike for Ethan, we knew it would be difficult for him. As it was we remained focused and we pressed on.  We took this bike on vacations and had him riding it everywhere, everyday thinking the more he made those pedaling motions the stronger his body would get.  And it did.  Somehow, our beliefs were shifting the reality that was showing up for Ethan.  He was getting stronger.  The daily pedaling was helpful to a point.  He was able to eventually become stronger and stronger with walking with his arm crutches and was mostly independent.  It was helpful.  Just when Ethan began to become accustomed to his new found freedom in biking he was introduced to para track racing by a local adaptive sports club.  This was racing in a wheelchair made for going top speeds on typical running tracks and/or road races.  He now did not have to use his legs and he was crouched into a small seated position while propelling himself forward with his arms.  With his head held low close to his knees and his arms propelling wide and high behind him he pushed metal rims covered in rubber which made him go faster the stronger he pushed.   All of a sudden, Ethan found himself going faster and stronger than ever before in a racing chair that was purely energized by his arms.  He absolutely loved it.  Ethan had the strength and determination to go fast and that was all he wanted to do.  From that moment on his life temporarily shifted.  The recumbent pedal bike went hidden into the garage and the next 7 years of his life became dedicated to speed racing.  His walking remained compromised and the healing we were working on obtaining through the lower body workouts were put on hold.  Ethan found a new love and a way to feel good on a new level.  Now he was concentrating more on his upper body and developing his racing skills.  As a mom, this was difficult for me to accept, because I knew clearly that if Ethan wanted to walk and gain functioning, he could but his life was steering in a different direction so I had to let that vision go.  Understanding that how he becomes a powerful individual can be created in many ways and this was one of the paths that he was now choosing to develop his own inner power.  I set my agenda aside and allowed what gave him inspiration to come forward as he filled his life with racing across the country and the world. Eventually he was invited to attend a University that would further support his education and his racing.  Over the years, I still wrestled with the ideas of what could have happened if Ethan remained on a healing path to walking.  I came to understand that this was in fact my struggle and this was part of a negative reality that I was creating within myself based on regret and insecurity.  Once I was able to let that go I could enjoy the moments that were happening before us.  Still, every once in awhile Ethan would come upon a video of himself beginning to walk without his arm crutches at a time in his life when he was on that path…I knew he could do it so I used to push him to learn.  He learned to walk…and just at that point is when his life shifted into para athletics.  He had entered a world centered around overcoming physical disability obstacles through sport.  It was a new world for him that was based on encouragement and acceptance.  One that he began to thrive even more.  Still, every once in a while, he would stumble across this video of him walking and watch.  Then, he would come to me… “Mom… I would like to try working on walking.”  Every time I was elated at the thought that he wanted this like I wanted it for him.  And this would last for several days or even a week or more but then he would become enveloped in the para disability world.  So, I waited and sat back and decided all I could do is enjoy the moment.  Not to press on and just accept what was happening.  It wasn’t a difficult process.  He was giving up one goal for another and I could use the same concepts and ideas to support him in other ways.  There were plenty of opportunities to help him see that he could do anything.  This was something he wanted to do.  When one is committed to becoming something bigger than what they believe themselves to be, when one has a goal, and one can begin to see their future in that goal, the universe conspires to bring that to you more you strive to get there.  The skills he would be learning would serve him well in other areas no matter what.  And, one day, if and when he would want to heal himself further, he could get there using the same skills and abilities he was developing in his sport.  That was how I rationed this.

And wouldn’t you know it, up until recently, Ethan has remained engaged in being where he is continuing to thrive as a para athlete.  Until now.  As he graduated and moved on from high school he entered a transitional space in his life that began to open back up to these concepts and ideas that I had been trying to teach him.  I could see a new light was turning on.  Things were beginning to happen such as gaining control of bodily functions that he didn’t have control of before.  More neurons and muscles in his body began making connections and he began feeling and sensing things that were not there before.  For example, on the long drive home from one of his annual Doctor appointments we began a conversation about what had just happened.  He visits these doctors for annual check-ups because he remains in a state of consciousness that still needs to check in with them.  Lately, each time we go to these appointments he becomes increasingly frustrated with the disconnect he feels with them understanding where he is in his own process of healing.  The doctors at this renowned hospital are doing their work which they believe is to protect their patients from further sickness.  Even though they have good intentions their simple reality that is invested in sickness leaves out the possibility that there is another way to be healthy.  They passionately believe in and know without a doubt that they have the answers.  Rightly so because this is what they see day in and day out.  Most of the people that go to them do depend on their wisdom.  But what they have continually failed to understand in Ethan is that he believes that they are not the answer to his healing and that they were there in a time in his life when he needed them as a baby and small child.  As he grew up, he also grew in his concepts and ideas about life and love.  In that growing he grew out of the idea that he needed them to be healthy and grew into his own peaceful power that began to intuitively know how to help himself.  This was done through working with these concepts in this book and having conversations about becoming more than what was possible.  Our lives were filled with expecting all possibilities to show up.  We knew Ethan could do things that at once were thought impossible.   On this particular day and this particular appointment we felt a turning point in Ethan’s life where he no longer felt there was value in the doctor’s point of view and began to see clearly that he had embraced a new path fully.  On this particular appointment, Ethan had revealed to the doctor that he had stopped following a certain protocol that the doctor’s believed he needed in order to be healthy and avoid surgeries or sickness.  Immediately, the doctor became extremely ‘patriarchal’ in tone and began condoning Ethan for his actions.  Reminding him of all the terrible things that could happen if he continued to follow this path without speaking to him first.  We both sat there in dismay listening to this doctor.  I was listening but at the same time watching the energetic transactions that were going on in the room.  I could feel and see Ethan’s energy field being sucked in as the doctor spoke and I knew that Ethan was not happy with what was happening.  I too felt small and penalized by the doctor and finally decided in that moment that we had to turn this around.  So, I interjected and applauded Ethan in conversation for following what he thought was good for him based on him feeling like he was ready to move on and upgrade his life.  Now, this time, I was spoken to in that patriarchal tone and explained that what he had done cold be jeopardizing his health.  We left the appointment stunned and with a deep realization that we both finally felt that we had outgrown this co-dependent setting and it was time to move on.  We agreed to get some further testing done, just to prove what Ethan had decided to do was the right thing and unlikely ‘jeopardizing’ his health and then we left.  On that car ride home, I immediately turned to Ethan and I told him to ‘cancel’ those thoughts and the conversations that just occurred with the doctor.  I told him to bring back in the complete understanding that our way of living, which we live, is not readily accepted by the medical community right now.  Our purpose is to keep doing what we are doing and show them that our way does work.  I further told Ethan to continue to BELIEVE that our way is the way and that we will bring in all the people places and things that will continually lead guide and direct him to what he wanted.  Furthermore, I said… just wait and see… it will happen. 

Then suddenly I saw a picture of riding his recumbent bike pop into my thoughts.  I saw him doing this today…almost 8 years later.  I turned and spoke to Ethan… “Remember the pedal bike?” “Yes”, he replied in an unsure tone.  I continued, “What if we tried riding again?  What if we exercised those lower muscles in your legs with the intention of helping your other muscles strengthen and gain the control you need for what you want to gain?” It had been a long time since he last sat in that bike.  When we finally returned home from another long day, we pulled the bike out from the depths of the garage with cobwebs and dirt.  I showered it down with the hose…pumped up the tires…and let it dry in the sun.  I told Ethan it was ready for a ride whenever he wanted to try.  He was ready.  We decided to just give it a go around the block thinking that was all he could probably do.  But instead…I found a new kid in that bike…this time he was ready and determined.  The kid that had discharged the bike 8 years ago was suddenly pedaling with a determination I never saw before.  He was enjoying the ride…the pedaling motion came easy and the idea of going fast in a new way was awesome for him.  He was elated with this new way to use his lower body and that he could do something that he had stopped doing years ago because of how difficult it was for him.  This was completely unexpected and a major miracle for us that day.  He continued to bike for 45 minutes and was able to complete 4 miles that day unlike he had ever done before.  I was amazed and so was he.  We were thrilled at his new found freedom and he was hooked again. 

On this summer day, we found ourselves, for the first time in a very long time being able to bike together as a family.  That was enough for me.  Just having that one experience of doing something together that we could all do independently without having to navigate inaccessible barriers was as though we were living a dream.  Most people don’t notice unless you have some kind of physical disability but most of our society here in America is completely catered to the walking population.  Cracked and beaten up sidewalks, inaccessible doors, and entrance ways and elevators in the back of buildings are only some of the challenges they face.  Most public places have some kind of structural challenge that separates them from the population.  Having a simple bike ride with my family where there were no insurmountable odds to overcome was a rarity and a most freeing feeling that I would capture and cherish forever. 

That’s not all.  As the three of us were biking together for the first time I noticed something interesting about the positioning of our bikes.  Andy was pedaling behind, then came Ethan in the middle, with myself up in the front leading the way.  Suddenly, I had an epiphany.  The position of our bikes was a direct reflection to the roles we played in our lives.  We had aligned our biking path to the way we lived our life up.  It was very symbolic.  I have spent most of Ethan’s life taking the lead and knocking down barriers for him.  As a child with a disability, mostly everyone, including doctors assumed to put him in a box.  They made it their mission to tell us what he could and could not do and what to expect from his life.  For some reason, beyond what I can comprehend, this only added fuel to my internal fires that wanted to prove them wrong.  And I mean all of them.  I have never enjoyed being told what to do and other people would certainly not tell me what my son could or could not do.  Every person, place or thing that we came upon that ever said “no” or doubted Ethan’s abilities…I challenged.  We usually won.  If we did not win, which was rare, we found another way to do it anyway.  It was just how we operated.  We became extremely proficient at this routine.  My children grew up knowing that as soon as someone put up a barrier, Mom would tear it down.  Especially when it came to disabilities and accessibility. I saw it as a way of opening people up to see things differently and overcoming the challenges. This became my purpose. So, as we were biking, it occurred to me that we had become so highly attuned to our roles that even in our day to day family leisure time we had assumed our roles.  Andy had assumed the role as the caboose all those years.  He was the support structure back there giving ‘back up’ to anything unforeseen that we may have run into throughout Ethan’s growth into adulthood.  It may had been a shoulder to cry on for all the times I felt alone or misunderstood for what I was doing or the insight to solve financial difficulties that were happening due to medical bills.  But he always seemed to be the steady rock that backed up what we were trying to do.  And Ethan was the ‘Wayshower” through it all.  Protected in the middle and held up by two strong forces, as he was allowed to show the world what was possible if you gave a kid the opportunities to do so.  Ethan’s purpose was very clear and the reasons why he was born into our family had crystalized.  Having to find the truth within myself in order to clear the path for Ethan time and time again was a skill that I had to develop and not one that I really wanted when he was born.  Ethan was exactly what I needed him to be so that I could be exactly what he needed me to be.  We knew this along our journey and we were very aware of how we were growing and evolving as Ethan grew and evolved.  Awareness is everything. Now that we were biking out of pure joy during this pivotal moment in his life a torch felt like it needed to be passed from me to him. As I pedaled my bike and thought about the roles we had played these past 19 years and as I watched how Ethan had become a strong, confident, courageous man who was capable of anything I finally began to understand that it was time for me to step aside.  He was moving on to a phase in his life he had worked diligently towards, he didn’t need anyone else helping him to carry the light that he now held from within.  With that, I allowed my bike to slow down enough to passively allow Ethan to take the lead in our bike ride.  Now, he was leading the way.  In my minds eye I saw Ethan embracing his internal torch that we had molded and shaped for almost two decades.  He was now the owner of the light that he could continue to burn into the next chapters of his life.  Sweet satisfaction came from that moment and the fires in my heart grew 100 times brighter.  After all these years of breaking down barriers and building bridges to a different way of powerful living the day had finally come where he was ready to take complete control.  I could rest.  It felt surreal.   

I have spent my entire life trying to figure out the meaning of life.  I have spent countless hours in pain, depression, misery, and heartache over trying to comprehend why we believe as a society that we are so limited on so many different levels.  Even today I am adjusting and fine tuning my thoughts and beliefs in order to go even further into the possibilities of being able to transcend all limitations.  This, I do know is possible.  Us, as individuals, CAN DO ANYTHING.  I am not being cliché and nor am I riding on the wings of anyone else’s story.  The lessons I have learned in this lifetime and time again all come down to the idea that we are the ones that limit ourselves.  We are the ones that believe that we are less than, not worthy of, or can’t do something for some reason.  It always comes back to the individual.  I say this because the only one we can change is ourselves.  It must come from within and we must do the work on ourselves.  It is possible to rise above any circumstance in your life.  It is.  I know this. 

Ethan’s life taught me how to be a warrior.  Not the kind that makes people see… although I did spend a lot of time coming to terms with even that.  We can’t make anyone see anything, they must see it for themselves.  Ethan taught me to put down my sword and warrior up by being the change that I wanted out there.  By simply living the life of all possibility.  That is truly what it means to transcend limitations.  We must become our own warrior and see what is going on within ourselves, take ownership of whatever it is and then learn how to release and resolve it for ourselves first before we can help anyone else. 

I have spent my entire life coming to the point where I now know that I know with a knowing that I don’t know how to explain, I just know.  It is a point where you have tried almost everything to be or fix something and you come up with no answers except that maybe that which you thought needed to be fixed doesn’t need to be fixed at all.  Ethan never needed to be fixed, he just needed people to believe that he could do anything and help him open up to that possibility so that he could take over and do it himself. 

So, on that day, as I passed the torch over to Ethan, as he assumed his own internal fires, I felt a new peaceful power come over me that proceeds anything I had ever experienced before.   

This was something so transcending it was indescribable in words.  It was a wave of force that just knew.  I knew what I knew and could not describe how I knew but it was a knowing that no one could ever shake or dismantle within me.  It was there for good.

And so it became a part of me in that moment and has never left.  I am not here ever to make anyone see the light.  I am not to change other opinions or ever try to make them see.  I can stand in the darkness, not to make darkness see the light…but rather to be the light that shines despite the darkness.

I know I am the light.  What comes to me…is the knowledge of all encompassing truth no matter what.  It is the same truth that can come to anyone.  It is applicable to all.  Our words are our medicine.  We are always seen.  Life is what is happening and unfolding right now.  Every experience is the answer.  The heart is the answer.  This is peaceful power. 

My knowing in the highest truth knows that answers will always prevail…light will always come…and darkness does not exist.  In that moment, joy, laughter, and humor was becoming my new home…seriousness and fear were on their way out the door.  I knew.  I had made a life of showing the world what was possible by investing all my times in helping a boy believe it was true when he became a man.  And now I was done.

Ethan was the stem that helped me to flower.  Now it was time for me to pass this along. 

I had returned to the truth after all these years.  I had biked right into transcendence with the most evolutionary force in my life that taught me how to become a strong force of truth for others.

True power can and only does come from the heart.  This is what this book is about. 

Lesson – 1 – Transcending Limitation

Inside each of us is a golden seed with the DNA to sprout, glow, grow, emerge, flower, and become.  Exactly what it will become…we may not know.  And what it becomes is exactly what it is supposed to be, no matter what.  This seed intuitively knows how to become its own peaceful and miraculous power.  It does not question whether or not it is supposed to go this way or that or whether it will grow and become what it is supposed to be.  It just is.  In its knowing which is never questioned it just becomes more of what it is naturally supposed to be with no limitations, no filters, no judgements and no thing to question its course of action.  It knows not how to transcend limitation because it does not even understand what limitation is.  All it can do is become more of itself.  It is already written in its programming to blossom, flower, and grow.  That’s what we are.   

%d bloggers like this: