Imagine this…detaching your head from your body. Putting yourself, ‘your head’, in front of you so that you could see your face. Then imagine having a live conversation with yourself. That is exactly what I did today (metaphorically).
I was so fed up with myself…that I took my head and told myself to just ‘shut up’. Of course, I can’t do this to anyone else but me. This is where I had to begin. Because this week has been rough, and I hit a huge road block. This was the mother lode of them all. This was one of the largest blocks within myself I had ever come up against. I have needed to do this for a long time. Finally, I was ready. I cried, I spilled my eyes out on to the floor, and could care less if they remained there. I was ready to give up. In that instant, which had waves and waves of emotion, I came up against the biggest title wave within myself that I had ever faced. So, I stuck my feet in the ground, sat myself down, threw large tantrums, distanced myself from others, and furiously went within. I saw all kinds of stuff come up. All kinds of beliefs and ideas about me and all the crazy things I believe about life that had been limiting me for a very, very long time. I told myself, “Enough is Enough!”
I pretended to chop off my head and set myself down for a face to face talk. I know this may seem radically intense and crazy but I needed it to work. I imagined myself staring back at me with presumed victim and martyr eyes, glazed over, and just yearning for someone to come in and save her from the mess she had created. I told her, “Enough! If this had worked, it would have worked a long time ago! It does not work in this new reality that we are creating. In this New Earth that is coming upon us.”
On the New Earth you will see that actions such as ‘blame’ will not work anymore. I was feeling frustrated, neglected, taken advantage of, judgmental, and just plain angry at the world. And you know what…it was no one else’s fault except mine. I wanted desperately to hold on to those old thoughts and behaviors that wanted to blame the outside world for my troubles. But then, through all the tears, the sniffles, and the nose blows I had an epiphany. “This is a huge golden moment for me”, I thought. I knew I must release all the rage and all the anger and rise above the perceived trauma I was experiencing. You see…I could have easily told myself that they do not value me, they hurt my feelings, they do not understand me, they are never there for me, they don’t get it. Yep… I was damn close to blaming others again. Then, I radically ‘chopped’ off my head looked at my eyes and felt compassion for the depths of my misunderstandings of what was truly happening. The energies of the universe right now are firing and rewiring in a way that is causing mass destruction everywhere we turn. Truly, what the universe is asking us to do is take a reverent look at what is going on out there and see what it is within ourselves that we are holding on. It is only with a new awareness and understanding that we are not victims to our thoughts and beliefs and we can begin to make radical change. This may sound pretty crazy, right? But I assure you, it’s not. We are meant to get to the root of our own perceived problems, release all this baggage, and learn that we need to do this within in order to build the New Earth we are desperately craving out there. We can only work with each other, collaborate, and connect if we are done with blame. Why did I stop myself from going on with my story? Because it doesn’t work. Stories keep us in our story.
Remember when we used to anticipate the same bedtime story repeatedly? Our kids would hold on to every moment and every move the main character would make. Always knowing what the end will hold. It was predictable and routine. This story (our life) can no longer be predictable and routine. We must look within ourselves, become comfortable with all the crap we have been hiding, and learn to clean our own houses. It is a must. We must wake up! Our Earth, our lives, our future depends on us being our own healers right now. So after I sat my head down and had a long talk with her, I could finally see how she had been creating the same scenarios and the same stories year after year. She kept reflecting her own poor self-worth, limitation, and lack expecting change. I saw how she never understood what she had been doing all along. I had empathy for her. For the first time in an exceptionally long time, I could compassionately hold myself. I further told myself it was going to change, and we were doing this together now. As I healed and transformed all those illusions, all those stories, I had been holding on to for a very long time, I felt myself move into another creation. As I cried and blew my nose and felt all the fears, I knew that I was finally accepting myself. I was now accepting the absolute change that I was about to make.
It was one of the hardest things I had ever done to help myself. It felt difficult and good at the same time. When I was done, I thanked myself for the time together, reattached my head, and vowed to love myself unconditionally for the rest of my life. Enough was truly enough. I now feel entitled to nurture myself, honor myself, and love myself in new ways. Which may mean I will have to close many doors and open many new ones. This will permanently shift what shows up for me out here. It’s already happening. My new self which is truly the part of the absolute connectedness is holding compassion and elated love for what is now to come. But I had to tell myself enough was enough. I will do it again if I must.
I will sit myself down again and tell her enough is enough. This is strong love, tough love, and the love that inspires and directs the energy to perfect self-healing that is always successful. This is true feminine power. So… now I start telling myself… enough is enough and make the changes in my world to reflect my new world. The world which I want to show up. The beautiful feminine energy that knows that we create our own realities and accepts her responsibility for being compassionately her own healer. This is emerging more and more and soon the collaboration of masculine drive propelling us forward combined with the feminine compassion for strength and unity will bring the Garden of Eden back to our planet. We only need to be brave from within and start exactly where we are. No longer will we be defined by a he or a she, it versus them, or one vs the other. When we begin from within, we will truly understand that everything we see is a continual reflection of what is happening from within. This is when we will finally realize Heaven was already here and it all begins from within.
